Chapter Five. Part II.

The Glass Chronicles

Chapter Five. Part I.

The way in which the glass would suddenly lose its momentum at the conclusion of any conversation with Brenda, carried an energy as striking as all that preceded it. 

Once again, so much food for thought. I’d certainly heard the driving analogy used before in relation to the idea of taking control of ones life, and here, for me, was a hard hitting example, hard because it seemed so personal and pointed towards an uncomplicated and innocent time; a time when there was so little to concern oneself with. Now the notion of redeploying this once naive, uncluttered principle into a present of unforeseen obstacles reminded me that if you are going to manoeuvre (as we do anyway) you may as well manoeuvre with intent. 

Chapter Four. Part VII

Chapter Four. Part VII

Without a doubt I would say that my family had one or two behavioural issues, which to some degree or another I see many families of those 40s/50s post-war years as having. It might well have been a time notable for its talk of togetherness and new beginnings, but to me those early years growing up in the north-west of England seemed quite grey, bleak and love-less. 

Just as the WW2 soldier had few places, if anywhere to go with his post traumatic stress (a term not even invented until the 1980s), other than that of a cheery nature, there was little room for emotional or individual expression; more than anything else it was just a case of getting on with things. Without going into all the details here, much of what happened in those early and important years resulted in a good number of issues and personal challenges, not just at the time, but also later on–and far more profoundly.   

Naturally, these inherited issues, this baggage, though often accepted initially without much thought  when young becomes more of an apparent burden when one goes out into the wide world, as life scenarios and relationships become chronically problematic.  

As a consequence the inevitable struggles that follow are regarded as bad, negative; things you could really do without. They are seen and spoken about as problems - that often feel quite unresolvable, obstacles - that often feel immovable.

Brenda's words that follow marked the beginning of something for me - a seed was planted in my mind. This was an idea that had never occurred to me before, not exactly in this form, anyway.

The old saying, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", is to some degree a truism, and now, that very principle was to be given a much wider and far-reaching gravity. 

This is a subject that will become something of a theme to many of the sessions that follow; a principle that seemed so logical and credible on one hand, and yet would at times involve issues of such trial and tribulation to the human experience, that there couldn't be anything other than a reluctance to accept the merits of the principle.  

The view that hardship itself was something you can't do without, if indeed you want to evolve, was a new and intriguing perspective. 

This is not a case of enduring hardship just for the sake of it, but more as a self-presented opportunity to surmount and overcome the challenges of hardship, and to grow spiritually in the process. 

More than anything, it did all seem to make sense.

Could it be that the very obstacles that we are bound by are also, potentially, the keys to our freedom?   

Addressing our difficulties, she says ...    

     

Chapter Four. Part VI.

Chapter Four. Part VI.

There was just one more contact on this evening of the 11th when once again Brenda introduced herself. Some of our discussion was nothing more than friendly chit-chat, and other subject matters are unclear. Her words cover more than two sides of A4 paper, so I’ll pick out what I see as the more significant passages.   

It’s obvious that I must have asked her if she knew someone, someone on her side that I imagine we’d spoken to. Whoever it was, she says, “HE’S OK IN SMALL DOSES”. Could it have been Ian? Or Sam, maybe? - I can’t recall.

She tells me, “DON’T LOSE SIGHT OF YOUR GOAL”, and to “WRITE A SONG FOR ME IF YOU HAVE THE TIME AND ENERGY” - even offering a title, “STILL WITH YOU AGAINST ALL ODDS”. I’m afraid I never did get round to writing it.

From some of the conversations we’d been having with our contacts, I started to develop a notion that, contrary to how many of us would imagine an afterlife of floating around aimlessly on clouds, in fact it had been mentioned that they had work to do. Tanina had often talked of being busy; Uri told us that he counsels, and Ian mentioned the art he was producing (and exhibiting). So I asked ...  

Though the words on paper appear slightly disjointed in parts, the topic of conversation started to develop in a way that had, and still does have a profound resonance for me. 

Beginning as we did with the idea of expressing and passing on those things that are relevant to the events in one’s own life, Brenda goes on to speak of the trying and painful times, those times that we feel we could, or should do without. Most of us would  naturally tend to view those experiences as negative or bad, but here, she now presents me with a whole new angle on this subject.

TBC ...

Chapter Four. Part V.

Chapter Four. Part V.

Maybe progress is not at all so black and white or as easily quantifiable as I’d inferred. Always with an unceasing desire for symmetry and perhaps a logic steeped in naivety, my vision of personal progress resembled that of a picture-perfect graph. 

The concept of randomness was not a comfortable one. So the notion that all those separate components of the inner-you do not always develop in synchrony was a realisation both disappointing and liberating - and a subject that raised its head more than once.

TBC ...

Chapter Four. Part IV.

Chapter Four. Part IV.

TBC ...

Chapter Four. Part III.

Chapter Four. Part III

TBC ...